Finding "Withyouness"
You Don't Know What You Don't Know
I’d been trying to train Amal for two years to be an endurance horse which is a trail horse that competes in long distance adventures under the umbrella of an organization called American Endurance Ride Conference (AERC). It was my dream to do these long-distance rides and maybe someday to do a 100 mile competition. Maybe even the ultimate test of the Tevis Cup from Lake Tahoe to Auburn; one day, 100 miles.
I purchased Amal to join me on this adventure but was told many times by self-declared experts, that Amal was no good and I was kicked out of one boarding facility because of it. He hadn't done anything wrong but he had big Arabian halter horse energy and he really hated people, with good reason. Not being one to give up easily or maybe just delusional I just kept the faith because Amal was exactly the kind of horse I needed physically and conformationally, with eight-inch cannon bones and good feet. He was my dream horse.
I am not a good trainer but I have patience, persistence and perserverence, as a friend of mine says, and I worked at all the physical conditioning exercises on the ground getting him fit. Unfortunately, because of my lack of awareness and experience, I didn't notice I didn't have "withyouness" a term coined by horseman Harry Whitney.
The Twenty Foot Trail Ride
Sometimes I would feel mistakenly overconfident after doing groundwork, thinking Amal might let me ride him, and on one of these days I saddled him up and took him out the back gate of the 600 acre cattle ranch for a ride in the foothills. When we were past the gate, I took my big Arabian over to a large granite boulder to climb on.
He stood quiet for me to mount. Maybe he was just quietly planning his next moves. As soon as I asked him to go forward up the hill, he spun and bolted. Now Amal is a really fast, athletic horse, and like a lawn dart I flew off behind and hit the barbed wire fence with my back. Man, that hurt and once I got my breath and oriented myself, I got up.
Amal hadn't run off, he was standing right there looking at me, taking stock of this well-executed space launch! “You stupid human,” and I must agree I was feeling pretty stupid. Luckily no one else saw my ariel act so at least I was saved that humiliation and all the I-told-you-sos.
I walked over and gathered the reins and we walked back to his stall. I notice my shirt was really covered with dirt and shredded in the back, but I had an extra shirt in my trailer so I changed and went to a little informational clinic I had planned on attending that day at a nearby fancy English boarding facility.
Something’s Not Quite Right
Horse lovers were gathered at the clinic on chairs in rows, so I sat down. I was getting out-of-the-corner-of-the-eye looks and I could just feel some weird energy from the other horse enthusiasts, that something's not right feeling, but I ignored the uncomfortable and watched the whole presentation.
Being hungry after such an adventure filled morning, I drove over to the Red Caboose restaurant to have lunch. I sat at the counter, ordered my cheeseburger then went to the restroom to wash my hands. When I looked in the mirror, I was really surprised at my red foothill dirt covered face and noticed blood stains on the back of my shirt. No wonder those people had been staring at me! What a clueless mess! I cleaned up the best I could with paper towels, ate my lunch and drove home.
Once home I went directly into the bathroom to do a closer inspection at the damages. Barbed wire will lay you open like you’d been cut with a steak knife, and I was definitely fileted. It looked like a bear attack (well maybe that's a little exaggerated). I don't know why I didn't feel it more, shock, denial, who knows.
Being Instead of Doing
Horses take a lot of introspection. “What happened before what happened happened,” is a Tom Dorrance saying that means it’s a good idea to think about what led up to the event in question so you can improve and don’t repeat the same mistake. A good place to start.
Not long after that particular launching (yes there were others but that was the last) Amal became very ill with Pigeon Fever, a soil born disease with large swellings in the chest and other places. He had to be isolated from the other horses and there was really nothing to be done except to keep a close eye and wait.
For a month I would come after work and take him for long walks on the cattle ranch down in the pasture below the road on moonlit winter nights. The two of us just being together and enjoying the quiet shadowy foothills after sundown with its sounds of coyotes, birds, bugs and the Milky Way. After a few of these nighttime walks, I decided to take Amal’s halter off so he could get more exercise on this rolling 100-acre pasture. He was very appreciative of this, and he walked, trotted and loped along with me on the way to the scraping screaming windmill water tank where we would pause and then start back to the barn. It was the beginning of “withyouness.”.
